Fear is like walking in the dark searching for the light but as soon as you see the light you walk away because you are scared. It is out of your comfort zone. Friends cannot do much; they mean it in a good way when they tell you there is nothing you need to be scared of. We all know, that doesn’t help. We are not listening to that kind of advice.
Fear is real and in order to deal with it you firstly need to acknowledge it. Fear is psychological. Worry, tension, embarrassment, panic are results from mismanaging negative imaginations. But knowing that you deal with fears, doesn’t mean you can heal it immediately. You need to go inside your soul and try to understand where it comes from. People say it is only in your mind but in fact it is real. Fear is your success enemy no.1. Fear is stopping us from recognising and taking on opportunities. You might actually feel you found what you were looking for but fear is stopping you to take it, you go back to your old habits and wonder why you are still unhappy. Unfortunately fear can make people sick, depressed and shortens your life.
Fear, uncertainty and a lack of confidence explains why we are dealing with economic recessions. It also explains why most of the people accomplish little and keep searching for their own happiness and enjoy little. It is very powerful and prevents people from getting what they want.
Enough now from this negativity. Let’s talk about how to heal it. What can you do to overcome your fear to live a fulfilled happy life?
The good news is that you can heal fear like you would heal an infection in your body. You can become more confident; nobody was born fearless or confident.
I remember my brother had to do his swim certificate. He was good in swimming but was totally scared of jumping into the water. He stood there shaking and couldn’t jump. My mum pushed him slightly when passing him, so he jumped and earned his certificate. I know that was mean and not probably the lesson I want to teach you. Nobody should push somebody else to do what you are scared of. However, the point I wanted to make is that once you actually just do it; you heal yourself and overcome your fears. My brother from that point of time was happy jumping into the water. Sometimes it is just being scared as it is not within your comfort zone. Do you know what? The best and truly amazing thing is to get out of your comfort zone and do what you are scared of. It releases so much adrenalin, makes you being proud of yourself and so much happier. For example I was always saying to myself, I will never perform on the stage. Well, last year I was asked to join the Cuban Salsa Pro team and for some reason I felt I needed to say yes. It was a bit scary, definitely out of my comfort zone but the best ever experience. Do whatever you are most scared of.
If your fear is caused by past experience, stop thinking about the past. You probably just keep hanging onto it and imagine everything happening in your life will be exactly the way you had experienced it. Let me tell you something. It will happen again if you don’t change your mindset or if something good is about to happen to you, you will push it away as this is not what you had experienced before. Hang on a second. Now think about it. What is it you didn’t like in your past experience and you don’t want to be repeated? That’s right, so get rid of it in your head and think and imagine things you want to attract into your life. If the good thing is happening to you, take it and believe this is meant to be. Is it something you actually wished for? Yes, then you are on the right path and you did change your mindset to being positive. Now it feels different but is the feeling a good one? Something you never experienced before? Then hang on to it. This change is a positive one and will do good to you.
To summarise, what we have learned is that action heals fear whereas indecision, postponement and running away fertilizes fear. Get out of your comfort zone. Change your negative mindset into a positive one and enjoy happiness.
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist