I love this quote from J.R.R. Tolkien. Make the most of every opportunity because life can be short. You never know what will happen tomorrow. So enjoy and be grateful for every day.
We cannot choose to live in other times or jump into the future immediately if we don’t like a current situation. However, you do have a choice about what to do in the here and now. It is your decision of how you want to live and what you want to do. Be grateful for the gift of life.
What is it you always wanted to do? Why are you still dreaming about it? Write down what you want and the reasons why you haven’t pursued it yet. Now read it again and be honest with yourself. Are your reasons excuses? If your answer is yes, then forget about the excuses and just do it. Do not waste any time.
Are you still not sure? Is fear holding you back? Now, that can be a serious issue. I recently wrote an article about it: “How to overcome your fears”: click here to read more about it. Are you scared of failure? You most likely will not fail if your mindset is positive and if you do experience unpleasant things, take it as a lesson learned. You have nothing to lose.
Still not sure? Ask yourself if you would horribly miss out if there wouldn’t be a tomorrow? If the answer is yes, go for it and don’t hold back.
It is your life; you make the decisions of what to do in the time given to you.
For me, it was to fulfil my dream travelling to South America. It was the best decision I have ever made. The photo below is me after the hike to the Fitz Roy mountain glacier lake; it was an 8 hours hike return, exhausting but rewarding.
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” ―J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
We are in control of our destiny; life is made up of our choices, and we create what we desire. However, sometimes we first need to find out what our purpose in life is or what we want to make the right decisions.
You will ask now; that sounds great but how do you create yourself?
Discover yourself first
Life can get busy, and we get caught up in unimportant things we do because we are used to it, or we are too busy with our jobs and work a crazy amount of hours. In those situations, it ‘s hard to find out what you want. We need the time out to reflect on ourselves and goals in life. Take your time either in the morning before you get out of bed or in the evening and write down what you always wanted to do. Ideas might not come to you straight away but writing about it every day might help you to find it. Make it a habit of writing down whatever comes to your mind. If that still does not help, do something new, e.g. meet new people and talk to them, learn from what they say and experienced. Get out of your comfort zone and do it anyways. You will be surprised what you might find out about yourself and what you want to achieve. Once your mind is getting clear about what you want, write your specific goals down.
Pursue your goal
Now it is time to focus on your goal and to work out an action plan. You might want to set smaller goals. Otherwise, it can get frustrating, and you ought to give up when the goal seems to be too far away. It helps you to keep motivated and determined.
Cancel everything that is not helping you in achieving your goals to have more time to focus on what really matters. Always open your mind and observe, you might find the solution right in front of you.
Be the person you want to be
Important is to be the person you wish to be, show your confidence. You will notice that people will recognise you even more. Ensure you are surrounded by positive people who support and can teach you. Stay away from doubters and complainers. Work hard, don’t give up and trust you will achieve your goal. It is in your hands. Nobody says that it will be easy, but it is worth going for it.
Don’t expect everything to happen straight away. Depending on your goal this might take a long time. Don’t give up.
Go and find what you desire and create your little world.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.’ – George Bernard Shaw
Most people judge others based on their values and attitudes. Judging others means being negative; you put another person into your narrow mindset and that is mostly only your view but not the reality.
Be positive and open-minded instead. Learn how to become more aware of your thoughts and stop judging because you never know what the other person has been through their life. Most people act in a certain way because of their personal struggle and it has nothing to do with you.
I summarised ten tips on how to stop judging people.
It is not about you. When others treat us in a bad way, we instinctively feel threatened and get defensive. Depending on our personality we might fire back. The key is to pause for a second and trying to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. If you can’t work it out, then ask. You might be surprised and realise that it has nothing to do with you.
Be mindful. Step back, breathe and think before you act in a nasty way or send a rude email. You cannot get your words back. Try to understand the other person and rephrase being more positive or, at least, neutral. You do not know the reason for people’s behaviour.
Do not personalise. In case somebody disagrees with you and you feel this person is making your life to hell, remember that it is probably not about you. Ask and discuss the situation to find out more about it. Maybe that person faces some pain in life. Will Smith once said: “because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people are better at hiding it than others.”
Look for the positive. Remember, there is always something positive to each situation and person.
“Just like me.” Bear in mind that everybody is essentially like you, i.e. loves their family, wants to be happy and does not wish to suffer. Everybody makes mistakes, you too.
Be open-minded. Be open-minded and accept other people’s behaviour. Others might not do something the way you do but have the same goal. Everybody is different. Life would be boring if everyone would do the same things in the same way.
Look at yourself first. Be aware that you might act in the same way before you judge others.
Educate yourself. When some people are annoying to you, question yourself if that person might have a disability.
Give the person the benefit of the doubt. Surely everyone gets up in the morning and thinks they will have a beautiful day but things can happen to us where our mood suddenly changes and we cannot control how we act or react to others. Remember that person might have had a bad moment. See the good in everybody.
Feel good about yourself. Once you feel good about yourself, judging and talking in a negative way about others wouldn’t even cross your mind. We might be hard to others and make fun about their appearance or weight because we have similar issues and just want to feel better. Believe me, you won’t feel better. Just look at yourself and feel good. Making fun of others is being negative and brings more negative things into your life.
Don’t waste your time being negative and judge others, make room to love yourself and others.
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ― Mother Teresa
What a beautiful quote from Bob Marley. What does this mean? I guess everybody has their interpretation. I can only tell you what I believe.
One Love: I think you can be in love more than once, but there will only be one person you truly love and feel connected to. This person is meant to stay in your life forever. If you have found that special someone, hold onto him or her.
One Heart: You only have one heart. Your heart is your personality, what you love doing and what makes you. It is simply you. Treat yourself well. You can give your heart away to the ones you love but always remember to love yourself and treat yourself well and with respect. You only have one life.
One Destiny: Events are happening in your life which you don’t have control over. It is the hidden power believed to control what will happen; it is fate. However, you also have a choice to create your destiny to a certain extent. Believe in the good things in life and believe in everything will work out in the end. Your actions will pick your fate. The destiny is yours and is for nobody else. Only you will meet certain people in your life, walked that particular path and chose the roads ahead of you. You made mistakes, you were successful, and the relationships you had or still have been only yours. Nobody else will have the same destiny like you.
Life is not worth living without love. Love doesn’t just mean between partners; it also means loving family, friends and animals.
Love starts with accepting and loving yourself first. Only when you love yourself, you will be able to give love to others. If you hate yourself, why would somebody else like you? So start from there. Be confident, look into the mirror each morning when you get up and every night before you go to bed and say out loud how awesome and beautiful you are. Sounds silly but helps with your confidence. Nobody is perfect, not even the fashion models. Their photographer knows how to fix things in Photoshop – believe me:) Beauty comes from your inside and your smile.
Love and live your life to its fullest potential. Loving yourself helps you attracting the right people into your life. Your life starts to improve. Try it, you have nothing to lose.
“Where there is love there is life.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Why are most people afraid of change? Is it because you feel comfortable in the situation you are in or you are unsure how something different will be like? You probably think it will be hard work or you don’t get the things you have at the moment or whatever excuses you come up with. Sorry but I call it excuses to stay where you are and not wanting to change. So, to summarise, you rather stay unhappy with yourself and keep doing the things you currently do just to avoid change? I will be a bit harsh now: then stop being unhappy. It is your life made up of your choices. If you don’t like it you need to change it or stop complaining about it. This is being negative and being afraid to embrace new chances in life.
Some of us might be thrown into a change, thinking of redundancies in companies. You might have ever hated it there anyways but you felt comfortable and were scared of change.
In my opinion you can achieve anything you put your mindset to.
If that is the case why do some people fail?
It depends on your mindset and belief in yourself. If you think you won’t be able to do whatever it is you desire, you won’t be able to find a way to get what you want. If you believe you will only get little, you get little. Your subconscious is telling you, well, you haven’t ask for more, so why would I find ways of getting more than you want.
Have you ever wondered why some people are just successful and seem to achieve all of their goals and others never make it and are depressed and sad?
The reason is your mindset. The minute you say that it is all too hard, you have not deserved it or you won’t be able to make it is sabotaging negative self talk. Stop right here.
Do what successful people do, think positive. They also experience things they are not happy with or proud of but the difference is they don’t hang on to it. They let go and move on and remember only the positive in each situation. When you think about it there is always an opportunity for you to learn.
Sure we all experienced it at one stage that out of the nowhere something wonderful is happening to us. We cannot believe what is going on. You might find the partner you were looking for, the job opportunity you always dreamed of comes up or you find the house or apartment you always wanted. Take it. It is an opportunity given to you. The only thing you have to do is to accept it. It is meant to be.
Stop questioning if you have deserved it or not or any other excuses you might come up with. That’s what it is an ‘excuse’ only. Are you afraid of changes or scared that you could lose it as quickly as you have found it? No you won’t; it is in your mindset only. Everything happens for a reason, so have faith and enjoy the beautiful things given to you. Believe in yourself and that you are a wonderful person who deserves the best in your life.
“Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith.” ― Lauren Kate, Torment
Have you ever experienced true love? Isn’t true love everybody wants in life? The problem is that people want it but not everybody is prepared for it and run away because they are scared. The feeling of true love can be overwhelming and you don’t know how to deal with it.
The psychologist Robert Sternberg came up with the following three parts of when you know you experience true love:
Have you ever had the feeling of an instant connection with someone because you are physically and sexually attracted to each other. It is the ‘wow’ factor when you are in a different world for moments. It is an overwhelming feeling, electricity and a chemistry you cannot describe. You feel almost obsessed with the other person.
Intimacy creates closeness and connectedness. You bond with each other. It grows with spending much time with each other. It goes deeper by sharing everything about your life with each other. It is built on trust, you feel safe. However, intimacy takes patience to develop, lots of us are not prepared for it. You are required to talk about everything even things you might not want to disclose to everybody. Continue reading “How do you know it is true love?”