Most people judge others based on their values and attitudes. Judging others means being negative; you put another person into your narrow mindset and that is mostly only your view but not the reality.
Be positive and open-minded instead. Learn how to become more aware of your thoughts and stop judging because you never know what the other person has been through their life. Most people act in a certain way because of their personal struggle and it has nothing to do with you.
I summarised ten tips on how to stop judging people.
- It is not about you. When others treat us in a bad way, we instinctively feel threatened and get defensive. Depending on our personality we might fire back. The key is to pause for a second and trying to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. If you can’t work it out, then ask. You might be surprised and realise that it has nothing to do with you.
- Be mindful. Step back, breathe and think before you act in a nasty way or send a rude email. You cannot get your words back. Try to understand the other person and rephrase being more positive or, at least, neutral. You do not know the reason for people’s behaviour.
- Do not personalise. In case somebody disagrees with you and you feel this person is making your life to hell, remember that it is probably not about you. Ask and discuss the situation to find out more about it. Maybe that person faces some pain in life. Will Smith once said: “because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people are better at hiding it than others.”
- Look for the positive. Remember, there is always something positive to each situation and person.
- “Just like me.” Bear in mind that everybody is essentially like you, i.e. loves their family, wants to be happy and does not wish to suffer. Everybody makes mistakes, you too.
- Be open-minded. Be open-minded and accept other people’s behaviour. Others might not do something the way you do but have the same goal. Everybody is different. Life would be boring if everyone would do the same things in the same way.
- Look at yourself first. Be aware that you might act in the same way before you judge others.
- Educate yourself. When some people are annoying to you, question yourself if that person might have a disability.
- Give the person the benefit of the doubt. Surely everyone gets up in the morning and thinks they will have a beautiful day but things can happen to us where our mood suddenly changes and we cannot control how we act or react to others. Remember that person might have had a bad moment. See the good in everybody.
- Feel good about yourself. Once you feel good about yourself, judging and talking in a negative way about others wouldn’t even cross your mind. We might be hard to others and make fun about their appearance or weight because we have similar issues and just want to feel better. Believe me, you won’t feel better. Just look at yourself and feel good. Making fun of others is being negative and brings more negative things into your life.
Don’t waste your time being negative and judge others, make room to love yourself and others.
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
― Mother Teresa