Setting boundaries is important and necessary; it is a life skill.
We all have our own core values; you might not be aware of it but once you think about it and write it down it becomes very clear what the drivers are in your life. Now, life is challenging us with situations where others control or want to control our life. It might be your work place where you get told to do something even though it might be against your core values. I have seen people, especially younger ones who are scared to say something and just agree and do what they are told to do. However, with more experience you become more aware of what is important to you and have more confidence to defend your values. A lesson I learned in life is to set your boundaries from the beginning. This can be done in a nice and diplomatic way. Setting boundaries means to clearly and openly communicate and asserting your personal values and not compromising or even having them violated. What is acceptable for you and where does it stop? Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Live your values. Some people love to control our lives or don’t want to take responsibility for their own life. It is up to you how much others can take over.
Without knowing your core values and setting your boundaries your identity is becoming diffused and defined by others; but hey it is your life.
Healthy relationships are an ‘inter-dependent’ relationship of two independent people. Identify what is important to you and defend your values, adapt if necessary but stay true to yourself.
When you think about your values you probably come up with 10 important things. Write them all down and once finished think about the least important one in your list and cross it off. Keep going until you have 3 core values left. These are the ones driving you. Now take a second and think about how much time you spend on all the 3 core values? Maybe you don’t spend any time or a minimal amount only. Change it and live your values. Set your boundaries and communicate this with the people you deal with in business and private life. Make your core values a priority in everything you deal with; make decisions which are in line with your personal values when you are being presented with life choices or people try to control and confront you. Having healthy values and boundaries is a lifestyle, not a quick fix to a relationship dispute.
Setting your boundaries means staying true to yourself to live your values
For this week’s photo challenge “Grid” I chose one of my photos of the World trade centre memorial in New York City.
Visiting this place was very emotional. When I was standing in front of the memorial all the pictures I remembered from the news were running through my head and even after so many years, I cannot believe what happened; still cannot understand how people can kill so many innocent people. May the victims rest in peace.
A tribute of remembrance and honour, a tribute to the past and a place of hope for the future.
In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Grid.”
In this busy world we keep working and working even through our lunch break. However, it is actually proven that you work more efficiently when you are having your breaks in and between.
Go out for a lunch break, leave the office. Enjoy your nutritious food and go for a walk before you go back to your desk. I see too many people pressured with workload who don’t even have their lunch, they eat and work at the same time. The brain actually does not even realise that you are eating. Why and how does it make you more productive:
going for a walk and having a break away from work helps you with your concentration for the rest of your day and
fuelling your body with important nutritions and healthy food helps you to be more productive during the day
if you can arrange it, do some excercise in your lunch break, have your nutritions after and you feel so much happier and productive.
Having a decent lunch break with nutritions will help you being more productive and happy.
Go and meet friends in your lunch break if possible, have a coffee and a chat about happy things in life. This will lift up your day and make you more productive.
This photo has been taken in New York City in winter where people sit outside and enjoy a coffee together.
Wouldn’t it be boring when everybody would be the same? If you are somebody who is trying to be like someone you admire; don’t. Be yourself. You are unique the way you are and don’t change to please others. Only if you are true to yourself you will find happiness.
Being different can be rough though; you might feel isolated. Accept yourself whatever your own personal difference is, love yourself for who you are. If you are not getting acceptance from your current work place or friends, ask yourself: do I accept myself?
Start believing and accepting yourself first and you subconsciously will make different choices in your life. You will be more confident in what you are doing, who you are and the way you look like. If work is not accepting you, change your job and find a place where people accept you the way you are. The friends who don’t accept you, are not your true friends anyways. It might sounds hard but get rid of them. Remember – somewhere out there, someone thinks you’re absolutely fabulous.
When you walk around your city and observe people, do you realise how similar most people look. They have similar hair styles, colours and outfits. Be yourself and be different. That makes life interesting. People who actually are different and confident with themselves are the ones attracting all sorts of people around them. They love themselves and have a great personality. I love watching people in fancy outfits and cool haircuts . They make our life more colourful.
Don’t try to be somebody you are not, you will come across as fake. Sometimes you might end up in a workplace where they think you should be different to their standards – don’t – if your personality doesn’t fit in, find a place where it does. Some years ago a recruiter told me that I need to change my hair colour from red to dark as it would not be suitable for an accounting firm. I was not impressed by that statement. My response was: ‘I don’t change my hair colour for anybody but just for myself. If they don’t like my hair colour, they don’t like my personality then this is simply not the place I would fit in.’ I am not changing my personality to suit others, this is my life and life can be too short.
Go crazy and be yourself. Live your life to its fullest potential and have fun.